Long week…

Day 49

This has been a really hard week.  For some reason the days are just DRAGGING and i’ve been so exhausted.  There is so much going on with work, just started up two new 8 week courses in school, and my brain just does not want to function or cooperate with me.  Now is not the time!  Haha  Satan is really trying to mess with my old insecurites about school too…telling me that i’m going to fail out, that i’ll never be able to get everything done…the whole 9 yards.  I keep praying for strength and for God to motivate me though.  He’s the one who will get me through this.  I just have to remember that we “wrestle not against flesh and blood”.

I still have my ups and downs with the whole deployment.  The bad days are scattered further apart though, so that is good.  Mostly i’ve just tried to stay so busy that I don’t have time to think about everything.  Last night it seemed to hit me again.  It’s the first time I’ve cried about missing R in awhile. I just wanted to hold him so bad.  I missed him so much that I felt like I couldn’t even breathe. 😦  Luckily those days are few and far between now…cause it was a bad night.  He’s just so great and I hate the helpless feeling of knowing that there’s NOTHING I can do about it.  I just want my baby back so we start our life together.  Oh well, tomorrow makes 7 weeks and we’re almost to the 2 month mark.  When I look at how much is done it feels better than looking at how much is left.

Gotta soldier on and keep my head up for him though!

~Meli

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