Emotions

Week 26

We are finally almost to the halfway mark of this deployment…thank GOD!  It seems as though it has been forever already.  Although, I do have to say that since 2012 finally hit, time has seemed to speed up a bit, which is definitely appreciated.  I have officially been on every side of a deployment now (other than actually being deployed myself) and I have to say that this is the toughest by far.  Nothing can prepare you for the roller coaster of emotions and reactions that you will have to the smallest things.  I can only imagine how amazing that reunion for R&R is going to be, how gut wrenching it will be to put him back on a plane again after only 15 short days, then the finality of knowing that he is home for good!!!  (For now…)

Here are some things that I have learned so far on the first 6 months of my first time facing the deployment as an Army girlfriend.  Until you have actually been there, you can’t even begin to comprehend either.  The sisterhood that I’ve formed with other girls is pretty crazy.

1)      If you thought you were patriotic and supportive of our troops before…look out.  I became even more proud to call him mine when he walked away from everyone he loved to get on the bus.  I’m not sure I’d have the strength to do what he is doing.

2)      Some days you miss them so much it feels like you can’t even breathe and you wonder what’s wrong with you…then others you go about your day and don’t even really think about it and you wonder what’s wrong with you.

3)      I feel like I am bipolar.  There are extreme highs and extreme lows…no in between.  Sometimes I am high on life, enjoying my new city, proud of us for making it this far, and anxious about what is in store for our future.  Then the lows come: I see a couple making out or out on a date and I want to punch them both in the face, a holiday hits and even though I have a bf, I am STILL alone, I get beyond frustrated and sick of having an hour a day (if we’re lucky) relationship.  Then still other times…I am completely numb.

Sometimes I find myself getting so upset about the tiniest things that never used to bother me.  For instance, his package taking almost 2 weeks to get to me from Afghanistan.  This really set me off.  Did an extra day or two REALLY matter?  I look back and wonder why I was so upset, but everything just piles on you sometimes.

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