Lessons Learned

Getting married is such an amazing and overwhelming life event. Yes, i’m pretty sure everyone knows that, but it’s totally different than what I expected. Just as with any other major life event I always expected the union of two people to have many more bumps in the road with each other. Surprisingly enough, we skipped right over the whole “Put the toilet seat down” or “pick up your socks” portion. Maybe because we’re still newlyweds in the honeymoon phase, but we have adjusted pretty well to each other and that’s a great thing! 🙂

I am sure that each person’s experience is a little different, but here are a few of the things that I have learned:

1) Nothing could have prepared me for how intense my love for someone could grow to become. I was crazy in love with Ryan before we were married, but there is no way to describe how intense that bond became once we stated our vows before God and our loved ones. The security that comes from knowing that you are one with someone else that loves you more than anyone else on this earth is so overwhelming. One of the amazing pastors that we have had the pleasure of worshipping with told us prior to the wedding that there is no Heavenly way to get out of a marriage. He warned us to know what we were getting into, because once you make that vow before God there is no way to break it. (I am no theologian, but I know how that can be complicated and a little more in-depth.) That is powerful and a LOT to take in. Everyone asks “Does it feel different?” after the wedding and our response has always been “YES!! In a great, indescribable way.”

2) You will never know everything about each other, but it’s great to try! One of the things that we try to do is read about how to be a good husband/wife and do our devotions. This allows for GREAT discussions and sometimes reminds us of things that we could be doing to tear the other down, hurt them, or just not lift each other up like we should. I love hearing Ryan read these and i’m so thankful to have him as the spiritual head of our home.

3) There will be battles! I believe that each person’s situation is different, but thankfully for us these have not been with each other. Even with all of the stress with the Army, PCS’ing, the many separations already…we have adjusted quite well. We have been attacked by outside influences, but through prayer and diligence these have only brought us closer together. Yes, we’ve had our frustrations, tears (primarily me), and difficult trials, but things that are designed to cause strife in our marriage haven’t succeeded. Prayer does wonders when you hand your marriage over to God and ask for His hedge of protection. We should always have our spouse’s “back” to outsiders, other family members, and even our kids one day. Marriages take a lot of work and we can never become complacent. I hope to always remember the pieces of advice I’ve received from those slightly older and MUCH wiser than I and apply it to our life.

4) My love for God has grown. If you have spent any time in Church you know that God uses marriage to describe our relationship with Him. We know that the church is the Bride of Christ, but it rings truer to me now. If we can feel this unified through our new family unit and love each other this much, how much greater is the love between us and Christ?! I love that our devotions bring us closer to God!

Please do not take any of this to mean that we are perfect or our marriage is perfect. We are two very imperfect people, but I believe that when God brings two people together…the union of the 3 of us is perfect. I have a few marriages of friends and family that I have looked at over the years and thought, “One day I want to be just like them!” My prayer is that people will look to us like that and we will be an example of what a godly marriage looks like. ❤

~Melissa Grim, Sappy Army Wife
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